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Loss of a loved one

924 views 9 replies 7 participants last post by  capo_2k 
#1 ·
Someone I know committed suicide today. She's 16, pretty, intelligent, good person, kind heart. I saw her smiling, laughing just two days ago...I didn't know this would happen. She didn't deserve this.

It's affected me pretty badly...I find myself bursting into tears. I don't go to church...and I can't make any sense of it. I'm still searching for answers about life.

Some help would be nice.
 
#2 · (Edited)
As someone who saw his father in law two weeks after i married his daughter laughing in the morning and saying "GOOD MORNING MY SON!" and then in the afternoon having to take him out of his car after committing suicide i know how that feels. Sometimes you just can't see the reason as some of them feel the pain inside and not outside. In some cases they've probably tried before without success and then comes a time when they finally get it to work. It feels bad and if you are very close to them you will probably end asking yourself why you didn't do anything to talk more and probably avoid it. Fact is that even if you manage to prevent them from suicide at this time there will be a day when you won't be around and they will eventually try again.

Sadly my father in law hasn't been the only one close to me that has committed suicide.... the last one ended under a train.
 
#3 ·
You can not fret over it. I know it may sound harsh but she had her free will and she chose to use it that way. You can not even imagine the pain she might have been going through or the thoughts running through her head. All you can do at this point is remember the good in her. To many times in life when someone passes people tend to think of the bad and ask why. The better way to think is to think of the good they did and the happy times you had while they were here. She is in a place where there is no pain now and only happiness and the best you can do is remember her fondly and live your life to the fullest.
I am sorry for your loss.
 
#4 ·
You shouldn't drive yourself crazy over this, people that are on that state of mind are usually very miserable inside, even though they don't show it to the public. It is sad that they reach that level of unhappiness but, very rarely do they tell someone how they feel inside. Sometimes they do tell but, not to the right individual. Believe me, I know from experience.

btw: My condolences to you.
 
#5 ·
I'm sorry for your loss, though as harsh as this sound your only option is to grieve, accept her loss and move on, life is limited and your bound to have death lurking around you from the next corner to the end of your life... Being a suicide i get that your bothered you didn't noticed anything, but the cold fact is that you didn't because you couldn't at the time. No reason to dwell on that. You will only make yourself worse and beat yourself over nothing. As i said grieve, accept and then move on, i'm not saying forget her keep her memory with you but move on.
 
#7 ·
Sometimes you just have to let yourself cry, be hurt and let time do its thing.

I'm really sorry for your loss my friend, and I'm sorry she chose to do what she did. The only consolation (as weak as it is) I can offer you is that whatever drove her over the edge is no longer causing her suffering, and while it hurts everyone around her, she can be at peace.
 
#10 ·
Thank you...

Really I can't stop thinking about her, it's so unfair on her... It doesn't seem right.

Can anyone answer these questions like what is consciousness? I feel like I just need to talk to some people who think about these things, who are searching for answers... I feel a weight on my shoulders and I don't even know why.
 
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